Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Happy (Belayed) Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Monk Day!

Well, now that I'm no longer sick and stressed I think I'll post again. Oh, wait, I'm already doing that. Aren't I funny?

So now that I'm well let's be at it!

Anywho, where was I? Ah, yes, reportage. A story for you. I have one. Or more. You shall read it. Or them.

Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Monk Day.

Jesus is said to have told his followers to "turn the other cheek" when provoked, but it would seem that on November 9th last year this was tested - and found that it applied very well to brawls. (You just have to hit back - that's allowed, right?)

On the ninth of November, 2008, there was a massive brawl in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, and man it was a gooder! In the Black Corner we have the defenders, the Greek Orthodox! Aaaaaand in the Blue Corner we find the challengers, theeeeee Armeniaaaaaans!

So, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is one of the most important places in Christianity, if not the most spiritually important, as it is the place of Jesus of Nazareth's crucifixion, burial, and resurrection. This church is home to six different sects of monks and priests, two of which are the Greeks and Armenians. These sects often have small squabbles over who gets to do what duties and when, and who gets to officiate and when.

Here's how it went down:

The Armenians were going to celebrate the annual Feast of the Cross which the Armenians always celebrate. This is a celebration of the fourth century discovery of a cross that is believed to be that which Christ made his sacrifice upon. So, dressed in their bright blue habits they proceeded with their procession until they came across a roadblock - one made of large, black garbed Greeks.

The Greeks wanted to place a monk inside the Edicule, a structure built on top of what is thought to be Jesus' tomb, and blocked the Armenian procession as they view this as their divinely delegated task. Well, no surprise, but the Armenian's said "gettaouttahere!" This did not bode well with the Greeks. The Greeks made a churchblock and things just went from there...

It ended with dozens of Israeli riot police forced to come in force, fully armed no less, to break up the fight. An Armenian monk and a Greek (blooding from a nasty gash on his face, no less) were arrested.

Oh, let's not forget about the scuffle between the police and an Armenian altar boy. (The altar boy won, no less!)

Other debates going on in the Holy Sepulchre at the moment:
-The Israeli government wants to build a fire exit, but the monks have been squabbling for over ten years as to where it would be placed.
-A rooftop monastery is in desperate need of renovations as it is about to collapse, but the Coptic Christians and Ethiopians are in a dispute over who the monastery belongs to so no repairs can get under way, even though a few monks have been seriously injured in a few minor collapses.
-And my personal favourite: a ladder has been in the doorway of the church since the 19th century, and it remains there to this day as the sects keep squabbling over who has the authority to move it. *Pushes ladder over.*

Another highly amusing event happened on Palm Sunday. Dozens of Greek and Armenian monks (Them again? Those scrappers!) and worshippers got into a brawl and when the police came to break up the riot everyone turned on the police and started beating them with palm fronds. If anyone has found any photos/video of this event can you please send me a link - I would love to see it!

Now, what happened today in the past? THIS DID:

-1429 - Joan of Arc unsuccessfully besieges La Charite. (Go Frenchies!)
-1859 - Charles Darwin publishes On The Origin Of Species.
-1971 - D.B. Cooper jumps off a plane with 200k$ in ransom money and is never seen or heard from again.
-1974 - Donald Johanson and Tom Gray discover a 40% complete skeleton of an Australopithecus Afarensis which is later named "Lucy" after The Beatle's tune "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."
-2004 - Last male black-faced honeycreeper dies of Avian malaria in the Maui Bird Conservation Centre. The species is now extinct.

-Nobody interesting was born today. I mean it.

-1991 - Eric Carr (former drummer of Kiss) and the Zanzibar-born singer of Queen, Freddie Mercury, both died. I do not know you first dude, but Freddie you were sweeeeeeeeeet.

And it's Teacher's Day in Turkey and International Evolution Day.

No comments: